Many people are curious about EMDR but hesitant to start, often because they don't really know what it does. Will I have to relive the worst moment of my life? Is it a kind of hypnosis? How can moving my eyes change a memory? This article explains what EMDR is doing, in plain terms, so you can decide with a clearer picture.
The problem EMDR is designed to solve
Some memories are too painful to approach directly. Thinking about them brings back the fear, shame or helplessness so strongly that the natural response is to push them away. That makes complete sense, but it also means the memory never gets processed. It stays raw, it keeps intruding, and it continues to shape how you feel and react in the present. I describe why this happens in Why traumatic memories feel like they're happening now.
EMDR offers a way to work with those memories without being overwhelmed by them.
What EMDR does
During EMDR, you bring a difficult memory to mind briefly while doing something else at the same time, usually following side-to-side eye movements, sometimes alternating taps or sounds.
That second task matters. Your working memory, the part of the mind that holds things in awareness right now, has limited capacity. When it is busy with two things at once, the memory can't be held as vividly or with the same emotional intensity. It becomes a little more distant and a little less overwhelming.
That creates an opening. A memory that was too painful to approach can now be held in mind long enough for the brain to process it: to connect it with what you know now, and to let it settle as something that happened in the past. Over repeated rounds, people typically find the memory loses much of its charge, and the beliefs attached to it, such as "I'm in danger", "I'm powerless" or "it was my fault", start to shift.
Why working on one memory can affect others
Memories aren't stored in isolation. Experiences that share the same emotions, beliefs or body sensations are linked together in networks. A present-day situation that feels humiliating, for example, can activate older memories of feeling humiliated, which is why a reaction can sometimes feel much bigger than the situation seems to warrant.
This has a useful consequence for treatment. When a key memory in a network is processed, the change often spreads to related experiences. You don't usually need to work through every difficult memory one by one. It also explains why, during EMDR, other memories sometimes come to mind unexpectedly: the brain is following the links between them.
What the process involves
EMDR doesn't begin with the most difficult memory. The early sessions are about understanding what you are struggling with now, which memories seem to be driving it, and whether EMDR is the right approach for you. We also make sure you feel prepared before any processing starts.
From there, we work on the memories that matter most, at a pace we agree together. Sessions can be emotional at times, and also surprisingly ordinary at others. Many people say that by the end, the memory feels further away, less vivid, or simply "just a memory".
Common questions
Is it hypnosis?
No. You are fully awake and aware throughout, and you stay in control of the process and of what you choose to say.
Do I have to describe what happened in detail?
No. You need to be able to bring the memory to mind, but you don't need to talk through it in detail. Many people find this one of the most helpful things about EMDR.
Will it erase the memory?
No. You will still remember what happened. The aim is for the memory to lose its emotional charge, so it no longer intrudes or brings back the same distress.
How many sessions does it take?
It depends on what you are working on. Where difficulties come from a single event, treatment can be relatively brief. Where there are several related experiences, it takes longer. I write about this in Complex trauma: when it wasn't one event.
Can EMDR be done online?
Yes. It works well online for most people. I offer it online across the UK and in person in Queen's Park, North West London.
In my practice
I am an EMDR Europe accredited practitioner and a BABCP-accredited CBT therapist, so I can offer EMDR where it fits best and trauma-focused CBT where that suits you better. You can read more on my EMDR therapy and trauma and PTSD therapy pages.
If any of this sounds familiar, you may find it useful to talk it through. I offer an initial assessment, online or in person in Queen's Park, and can tell you honestly whether I think treatment with me is the right fit.
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BABCP-accredited CBT therapist and EMDR Europe accredited practitioner, in clinical practice since 2015. Guy works with adults online and in Queen's Park, North West London, with a particular focus on OCD, anxiety and trauma. More about Guy